


You are Cordially Invited ...

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Drama, Points of View
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-28
Updated: 2005-05-03
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:42:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: How does one deal with a sudden life altering event?  Brian has to deal and was left with no choice.





	1. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Don't hate me for this. The story just hit me. I'm surprised myself, too. Also wanted to show how friends can empower us at times of difficulty.

* * *

“Oh no no no. Tell me you’re fucking kidding! You promised me you’d be there, Brian!” I knew Justin would queen out. He has the ability to spin something average into some fucking national issue. I smirked impishly, the fucking twat is adorable when he pouts like that.

 

“Toothbrush…shampoo… aftershave…hair wax…..all check!” I carefully toss them one by one in the smaller bag. 

 

“Fucking stop right now and tell me where the hell you think you are going?” Justin demanded, straddling like a cowboy, aiming to fire.

 

I shot him a glance. “Oh yeah, have you seen my silk Prada tie? You know, the one I got the other day, dear?” I asked with my forced singsongy voice. I was trying to be cute, okay? How pathetic

 

“Christ, Brian! This is no time to fuck around,” there was a pause. I see him stomped off and slumped at the sofa, both hands covering his face. He started muttering incomprehensible words. I could not make anything out of them. I wished I could turn up the volume a bit. 

 

As if on cue, the little shit spat something out loud. “I guess, you woke up on the RIGHT side of YOUR bed again, huh. Shit, you could not even spare just ONE, just one fucking day--”

 

SNAP! “Stop whining like my fucking concubine, Justin! I told you, it’s BUSINESS. What? Can’t I even fucking take off to some fucking place without asking for your fucking permission?” Now, that’s a world record, three F word in a sentence. They came out before I had the chance to restrain myself. I knew the words would hit him, smack him to the core. 

 

I stared at him, challenging him to say something back. 

 

“Of course”, the words choking him, blue eyes still thunderstruck. “Of course, you don’t need to… you don’t have to. You are right, it’s business. It’s important that you attend to your priorities. I’m sorry. Fuck, sorry’s bullshit!” He shakes his head, “I just thought…,” Justin’s rambling. I instantly felt sorry for him. I turned my back and moseyed to the bathroom, can’t stand looking at him like a lost puppy.

 

“Brian,” his voice so soft. When he says my name like that, he can instantly lull me into slumber.

 

“Huh?” I wished I didn’t look back. Fuck, don’t do this Justin. Make it easy on me. 

 

He reached out for his bag, pulled out something like an envelope. I could not see clearly what it is. My eyes are becoming blurry. I shut them tight.

 

“I want you to have this. This means a lot to me. I…I just want you to know, I couldn’t have done this without you.” 

 

I hear the sound of the heavy loft door being open. I held my breath, my lungs felt like exploding. 

 

Silence. 

 

I opened my eyes. He’s gone. What have I done? I shut my eyes for what felt like a second ….. and then he’s not here anymore. Didn’t even hear the heavy footsteps walk out the door. He usually has this ‘drama queen grand exit’. Shit! He just dissolved in thin air. 

 

*Screeechhh!

 

Loud fucking noises. What the fuck?!


	2. You are Cordially Invited ...

Finally, here's the last chapter. I made some minor changes. Ok ok, I know I'm bad. *peace man.

* * *

“Hey,” I felt somebody’s hand in my shoulder. 

 

“Hey, Mikey,” I acknowledged him but did not take my eyes off the card I have been holding for the last hour. I traced the words inscribed on it with my fingers. They felt good against mine. Reluctantly, I placed it back inside the envelope.

 

“We need to go, everyone is there already,” he took my hand. 

 

“Yeah…yeah…we better get going. How do I look?” I asked as I run my fingers through my hair.

 

“You look dashing,” replied Mikey as he gave me a quick peck in the cheek and a weak smile.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

 

The ballroom is full. The atmosphere, merry. Everyone seems in high spirit. I hear people swapping numbers, camera clicks left and right, guests exchanging pep talks. Shit, for the most part I felt like I was hardly even there. I dutifully sat in my designated seat and watched the world go by. I felt like I was in some kind of a trance. 

 

“Ahmm…. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” the raw voice brought me back to reality. Everyone hushed and turned to the man in dark suit standing in the podium. 

 

“At this point, we shall be announcing the recipient of Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts’ highest award for excellence.” He paused to adjust the microphone in front of him, which was set a little too low for him. 

 

“The school board and faculty members did not have a difficult time deliberating and choosing this year’s valuable recipient . The decision was unanimously agreed upon as we are all of the opinion that this young man truly deserved it. To some, he may seem like an ordinary kid across the block. But to us, who have known him throughout these years, he’s the bravest man ever to come into our lives.” 

 

“His exemplary actions and ideals have proven that nothing is impossible. His sheer hard work, unsurpassed passion for his art, uncompromising principles and unconditional love and loyalty to his family and friends have made this young man more than worthy of this honor.” 

 

I see Deb held Jennifer’s hand much tighter, emotions too raw to sort out . Linds and Mel nodded in agreement, both misty-eyed but obviously beaming with pride. Emmett reached for his box of Kleenex, Ted instinctively wrapped his arms around him. The professor took Michael’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. From afar, I caught Daphne looked my way. She gave me her best smile, her eyes conveying multitude emotions, which I know cannot be put in words. At least, not this moment. I continued to sit there. Amidst a hundred and more people, and yet, feel so alone.

 

Dean Martin pored over the big crowd listening to him in full attention. His eyes started flitting from across the room, appearing to be in search of someone. 

 

Fuck! His eyes rest on me? He actually is staring at me. Is he cruising me? Shit! Geriatric men are totally not my type. 

 

Suddenly, it dawned on me, he is directing the rest of the words to me. I froze in my seat. 

 

“Justin Taylor, at a very young age of 23 left us. I could not even begin to fathom how such tragic accident could befall someone so full of hope and zeal. How could the life he tremendously lived to the fullest be wasted and be last remembered as another ‘hit and run’ case?” I feel my eyes burning. My hands almost crushing the envelope containing the invitation he had for me.

 

“Indeed, at one point in our lives, he has touched us. Perhaps, he’s done something magical that turned our lives differently.” He continued to gaze at me, as if trying to communicate some spiritual message, “Mr. Taylor is not here anymore to shake our hands and accept our congratulations he so deserved.” He cleared his throat and then added, “But, I suppose he will be happy and content to know that … we all shall move on, live our lives meaningfully, face our fears head on and love like there is no tomorrow.”

 

The applause was deafening. I got up on my seat. I need some fucking air. I could not breathe. I have to get out of here. Fast!

 

“Brian!” I hear Mikey called out, running after me. “Brian, wait!”

 

Ahhhhh… Air! I need this, inhale….exhale. I slumped at a corner. Totally oblivious to everything around me.

 

I sat there, head bowed in between my legs, bawling like a fool. I couldn’t care less. Fuck! I need some release. The irony is that, this time, it’s not the kind I usually turn to when dealt with something as fucked as this.

 

“Brian . . . I … I don’t know what to say,” this will have to go down to history, Michael offering no words. He just sat there beside me and did not even attempt to make any contact. The Gods must be crazy tonight.

 

“The motherfucker should have been here,” I officially started ranting. “Receiving that damn award! Flashing that sunshiny smile! Fuck him!” my voice was gruff. “Stupid, crazy twat, running away like that. He knew it was business,” I turned to Michael, I want him to believe me, I want him to know, I need for someone to understand that I did not fail Justin.

 

“I just needed to make that trip, Mikey, you believe me, right?” Michael nodded, “I was gonna come back for him. Be with him. What? Did he actually think I’d miss HIS BIG MOMENT for anything in the world? Damn him! Fuck…fuck… fuck!” I was raving like hell. “Fuck you Justin! Wherever the fuck shithole you are, you gotta hear me! You get that?” I shouted fiercely and briefly looked up at the vast dark sky.

 

“Brian….hey, listen to me,” Michael had to shake me real hard to collect whatever sanity I have within me.

 

“Brian you have to calm down, alright? I am only gonna say this just once, and you better fucking listen. Hell, I’m not even giving you any choice right now but to hear me out!” When did Mikey become so resolved? He’s grown balls, I’m sooo fuckin’ glad. Maybe, I’ll listen. 

 

“He knew. Justin knew you will come and be with him tonight. No matter what. He knew you will NEVER fail him. He entrusted to you his whole life, for God’s sake!” I furrowed my brows. I looked at Mikey like he was talking in Arabic. Nothing makes sense. 

 

He grabbed the withered envelope I was clutching like a lifeline. “That’s why he left you THIS,” he waved the fuckin’ card in my face, “He left the invitation on purpose. Don’t you get it? Justin was not just hoping you’d change your mind, I swear that kid was completely SURE you will show up.” A couple of tears slid down Michael’s face. He would have never gone into specifics if he had the option. I know it was painful for him, as well.

 

I sniffed and swiped the tears off my face. “Shit! I’m a fucking mess!” Damnit Mikey, I’m a fucking mess!” 

 

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here. Ma and Emmett prepared something big for Justin,” Michael grabbed me by the hands and helped me get up on my feet. My knees are still wobbly. It felt like they would give out any moment.

 

“First, we give him this celebration, He earned this one, right?” he started to walk towards the vette.

 

“Then what, Mikey?” Isn’t it a wonder that I am actually asking for his opinion? It used to be that the only one that matters was mine. The professor has surely rubbed off his wisdom on him.

 

He stopped mid-step, then turned around to face me, “Then… then we deal with our loss. OUR loss, Brian. The family is going to deal with this altogether.” His voice indomitable.

 

“How?” I confronted him. I asked him a plain, singular question. Just one word, but the weight of it is overwhelming. 

 

Michael stared hard at me. Pain written in bold letters in his face. “I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy, that it’s going to be fine … ‘cause I fucking know it’s not! You can rip out my chest right now, you’ll see my inside’s fucking bleeding! There will be more sleepless nights, family dinners when he’ll be sorely missed, so many things to get used to. It's not everyday you lose a family member,” he placed a hand in my shoulder as if trying to brace me, “ I can’t even begin to imagine how … how difficult this is for you,” the words came out almost in a whimper. 

 

“But, we have to hold on to each other, Brian. If you ever feel the need to … be deliriously angry… cry unabashedly…. mourn,” the last word was said in trepidation, “I’m here. Always have, always will.”

 

“I don’t know, Mikey. I don’t know,” I shake my head in desperation.

 

“Hey, nobody expects you to know everything. Sometimes … when we are sooo lost, and it feels like every road is a fucking dead end and we’re going around in circles – just STAY where you are. Stay until our fucked up brain finally picks up and bring us back in track, again. Live your life one day at a time, Brian. And …and ….,” he ran out of things to say.

 

“And hope that maybe, just maybe one day … the ache will go away.” I filled in the blank for him. My voice almost squeaking.

 

“Yeah, maybe," He held my face affectionately and looked deep into my eyes, "Until then, let the pain remain, Brian. Because there is NO other way to survive this shit but to fucking go through it.” Mikey said with finality.

 

I will not remember how Mikey and I were able to reach Deb’s in one piece. But I do know that the party was everything but poignant. Queen Emmett was up on his toes admonishing everyone with his, ‘No crying in the dinner table, sweeties. Party poopers will not be tolerated, ok?’. Come to think of it, nobody will ever understand how odd and screwed this family is. But what the the hell, they're all I got now. Need I say that Jambalaya was served that night? Fucker, I’m sure you already know that.


End file.
